Aminet 34/Aminet 34 (2000)(Schatztruhe)[!][Dec 1999].iso/Aminet/comm/irc/cybershiela.lha/cs/quotes.amirx

Text File | 1999-07-05 | 3KB | 50 lines

/* Quote File Auto Converted to Arexx by Zonkerz */
xx=random(1,43,time('s'))
select
when xx=1 then a="A computer can wait forever for you."
when xx=2 then a="A computer doesn't compare you with it's past users."
when xx=3 then a="A computer doesn't get calls from it's past users while you're logged in."
when xx=4 then a="A computer doesn't mind how excited you get."
when xx=5 then a="A computer doesn't tell you how completely teriffic it's past users have been."
when xx=6 then a="A computer is big in all the right places."
when xx=7 then a="A computer never forgets your birthday."
when xx=8 then a="A computer won't ask, 'Are you in?'"
when xx=9 then a="A computer won't ask, 'Is there another computer?'"
when xx=10 then a="A computer won't even talk about marriage."
when xx=11 then a="A computer won't fall in love with you just because you have sex."
when xx=12 then a="A computer won't get bitchy if you're slow to respond."
when xx=13 then a="A computer won't grade you on how much you send it."
when xx=14 then a="A computer won't look through your checkbook."
when xx=15 then a="A computer won't mind how many other accounts you have, or if you keep getting new ones."
when xx=16 then a="A computer won't say, 'Let's just be friends.'"
when xx=17 then a="A computer won't shave with your razor."
when xx=18 then a="A computer's maintainance personel don't cross-examine you every time you log in."
when xx=19 then a="Computers are easy to turn on."
when xx=20 then a="Computers are ready when you are."
when xx=21 then a="Computers are very responsive."
when xx=22 then a="Computers aren't into finding out how far you'll go to keep your account."
when xx=23 then a="Computers do everything you tell them to."
when xx=24 then a="Computers don't care about age differences."
when xx=25 then a="Computers don't care if you're married."
when xx=26 then a="Computers don't get pregnant."
when xx=27 then a="Computers don't get upset if you use other computers."
when xx=28 then a="Computers don't insist on foreplay."
when xx=29 then a="Computers don't make you meet their parents."
when xx=30 then a="Computers don't mind if you share them with a friend."
when xx=31 then a="Computers don't mind spending hours on the phone with you."
when xx=32 then a="Computers don't play head games unless you ask them to."
when xx=33 then a="Computers never ask you to call them in the morning."
when xx=34 then a="Computers never have headaches, or take rainchecks, or have a curfew, or have that time of the month."
when xx=35 then a="Computers won't mind if you don't like their friends."
when xx=36 then a="If you don't like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a minute."
when xx=37 then a="Size doesn't count to a computer."
when xx=38 then a="The average computer session lasts four hours."
when xx=39 then a="With a computer, you never have to say you're sorry."
when xx=40 then a="You can log into several computers at once."
when xx=41 then a="You can turn off a computer."
when xx=42 then a="You can visit a computer any time you like, and it'll be up and ready for you."
when xx=43 then a="You don't have to tell computers you love them."
end
'say  5Why Computers are Better Than Women: 3'A
exit